Growth.

    Today was one of those days, where I got super stressed and over-whelmed about a lot of different things in my life, and then I kind of just broke down. I cried, and I walked out of class for a while. Sometimes I think if just because that happens to me sometimes, I have made no growth in the last year or so. Like...all of my work suddenly goes back to ground zero as soon as I act like that. It's not bad to cry. Frankly, today, I tried not to cry. It just happened. There's lots to cry about. But what I want to do, is realize the things there is to smile about, even in those moments where I feel stressed and over-whelmed. I look at all my problems in life right now: Jesse ignoring the crap out of me, inability to lose weight, percussion solo, Odyssey Essay in AP English, finding a job, graduating, throwing a surprise anniversary party, learning trumpet music, choir solo, etc, and I get all worked up and I freak out. When I could say, Hey, look at what I'm nailing: All A's and a B at quarter, percussion season is about to end, future babysitting gigs, prom, a great boyfriend, etc. Why can't I just relax and focus on THOSE things? I also dwell on the past a lot. That's no good. It's bad, even. 
     Lately, I've been really in the mood to write. I have the mood, I even know what I would write about, what kind of genre I want to write (almost ALWAYS poetry), and everything. Then I sit down to write....and something mediocre comes out. I hate that. HATE IT. I am going to go try to write a poem now. Wish me luck.

Remember, you're beautiful because you're you!