Sometimes being strong is hard, when you have to wait to get something you really want. Especially when its a relationship with someone you love. But relationships (all kinds) take lots of work and effort. So just remember that. If you are having a fall out with a loved one, whether it be a significant other, best friend, family member, etc...think about how you care about them. Then remember that all relationships take work from both sides. They are give and take. So sometimes you are going to be taking, other times it's gunna feel harder and you'll be giving. Just have grace and compassion. Sometimes they are going to do things we don't like. Sometimes we want to take a relationship to a new level, and they aren't on the same page with us. Try to think about how you would feel if that person 

Take a moment right now and think of all of your friends. Think of your closest most best friends first. For me, I think Kyle, Trevor, and Sarah. Then think of your good friends. I think of Shelby, Kellie, Nicole, Lars, Sarah D, Chandler, etc. Then think of the people you are barely friends with but they're still there. I think of Carlos, Grace, Aliza, Emily, etc. These people are all VERY important in your life! Friends are essential to happiness, in my opinion. They are a huge part of the healing process if you've been hurt. They look out for your best interest. They come to your rescue, they listen to your problems, they make you laugh. I'm so grateful for my friends, and I know if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have been able to get over Jesse, and get through all the shit I've been through. So I just wanted to say, keep your friends close. They are vital.

Goodnight! :)

Sometimes things happen that suck. They make us feel inferior, hopeless, sad, etc. We want to just break down, shut in, and let it all fester. We want to just stop thinking. Processing. Breathing, even. But we can't! These are the times where we have to be at our strongest! Have to get back up and pull ourselves together. Tell ourselves it isn't always going to be this way. We have to smile, because the more we smile, the more we will mean it. The more it will heal us.
     Whenever something bad happens to me. Something that hurts. I just don't want to try anymore. Something like that happened today. I cried my eyes out, I even threw up. I was a mess for about an hour. Then I realized. This isn't the end of the world, there are good things heading my way, and I need to stop being such a debbie-downer. So I picked myself back up. I took a deep breath or two, and I went out and did something nice for myself that I knew would make me happy. This time, it was buying Mario Party 9 for my Wii. :P I also got an SD card for my camera so I can start taking pictures again. It was exciting lol.
     Other than my breakdown in the late afternoon, I had a pretty good day. I had the whole morning off until two o'clock, because the under classmen were taking TCAP's  (standardized state-wide assesments) and the Junior's were doing ACT prep. So seniors had the entire morning off. I do tomorrow, too. :) It's a week until my birthday, and I'm super excited to get a tattoo.  I'm getting a deathly hallows symbol on my arm. ;D

    Well, I hope everyone has a great night! Take my advice, be strong! What doesn't ki

Hey. I hate how into relationships I am. I feel like having a boyfriend is very important. I just like feeling loved. I don't want a relationship just for the sake of having one. I hate that. I want it to be real. Jesse was fake, or at least I'm pretty sure it was. And now I want something real. True love. I just am so worried I will end up alone. But I need to stop fretting about things like that. Love isn't everything. Even if I never get married or end up with someone, God has so much more planned for me in life. That's what I am looking forward to. The joys I find in the small things.  Like my preschoolers. I'm so excited for that to be my job for the rest of my life. I hope to open my own preschool someday. I love kids. Working with them is my passion. I'm so happy I found what I love to do so much. 

Hey all. I was gonna blog yesterday, but it would have had to be when we got home from the competition, and that was at like 11. I was much too exhausted. 
     We did pretty well. We got third out of 5. But the top three teams were all within a point of each other. So we are in pretty good shape. We just got to up our game a bit. It was a long day. It was fun though. We played a pretty good run. I think it is on facebook. I had a good time! 
     I am starting to get over Jesse! I have been barely even thinking about him. And I realized that I don't want to like someone who is a complete jerk to me and doesn't like me for all of my awesomeness. So that's a positive thing that has been happening to me lately.  I feel so confused. I realized that I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend Trevor, who has been my best friend since our break ups. He is in drumline. He was there yesterday (obviously.) He was such a good boyfriend and he is such a great friend. I am trying to win him back. But he likes another girl, and suggests we wait, so he and I can both clear our minds and know exactly what we want. I'm just happy I guess because even if  we don't get back together, I will always be best friends with him. So that's good. The one thing about Jesse that I have found is helping me get over him, is trying not to live in the past, and to live in the present. For example, he is a total jerk to me now, but I keep on focusing on him in the past tense. How he was when were dating, etc. That makes it really hard for me not to feel for him, because he was a sweetheart when we were dating. But I have to face the fact that he is just NOT the same person anymore! 
    Well. It's Sunday. I am just relaxing until youth group. I think I will go play some video games. :D Have a great Sunday, my non-existent blog readers! Take a moment today to appreciate God's beauty! I know in Glenwood it is absolutely gorgeous out today!

9 More days 'til my birthday!
<3

These are my besties in the drumline! From left, Sarah Davis, Me, Sarah Orr, Trevor, and Lars. <3 This was after the competition. I love you guys! :D

It is time to move on. It's been time for a while now.  Now it's just a matter of how to go about doing so. I try to be positive. I try to stop my mind from thinking about him ALL the time. Sometimes I don't stop myself, but I try to most of the time. I listen to "What Doesn't Kill You" glee version every morning while getting ready. I try to look my best at all times, and only FOR myself. Not for Jesse, not for other guys to notice. Although, I do sometimes try to get people to notice. I compliment myself and tell myself it's going to be okay. I try to distract myself with other things. Sometimes it works, other times no. There will always be the days where I feel like I'm doing exceptionally well, and the days where I feel like I'm back to square one. It's like a rocky roller-coaster of emotions. I need to stop telling myself that we are going to get back together someday. I also need to stop bringing him up ALL the time. One big one, though, is I need to stop STARING at him ALL THE TIME! Every time he walks by, all of band class. I almost hit a car today because he walked by on the sidewalk and I got so worked up and jerked the wheel. :/ He never looks at me anymore. I can barely remember his eyes...but maybe I should do that. Pretend like I don't need him. Maybe if I deny to myself my strong feelings for him, they really will start to die away. When I focus on them, I feel like they fester. So I, Angela Anne Frale, am going to get over Jesse. And I am going to live a full and happy life. And I can move on. It is possible! I believe in myself. That's all you need. Determination and a little self-love and support. And of course the support of your amazing friends and family. <3 Goodnight, all. Tomorrows the big 

I do NOT handle stress well. At all. I usually break down, or quit. When I was under the most stress I've ever been under, I tried to kill myself and landed in a psyche hospital. Note to self: Never try to kill yourself. Especially never try to kill yourself because of someone you "love," and also, never try to kill yourself to make an impression. I was so obsessed with getting attention, I thought being suicidal would satisfy that need, because it usually brings instant attention, right? Right. However, it is negative attention it is attracting. I was so desperate for Jesse to notice me again, that by threatening to/attempting to kill myself, I thought I would gain his attention. In the end, I think it just scared him away even more. I shouldn't have to hurt myself or try to kill myself to get people to notice me. If I want attention, I need to find ways to attract it that are positive. For example, I could shine through my talents, etc. I can do good things. Get good grades, etc. I don't need to be so down. I am a great person, and I just need to act like that person that I know I am deep down.

I always loved that I never got writer's block. I would feel the inspiration to write, sit down, write it, and then be done with it. Maybe I would come back and edit it. But mainly I would get out the final product in one sitting. Lately, I've felt the urge to write. A moment of inspiration, etc. But I will sit down to write, and get serious writer's block! IT SUCKS. I just sat down to write, and only got out one poem (the new one, "Renovation.") It's definitely not my best work. I consider my best poem I've written to be "Dependency," the top one on my poetry page. It was a project for my creative writing class. We were supposed to write about an emotion that makes us feel uncomfortable. I have a bit of an...addicting personality. I was in a bad relationship a couple years ago, an abusive one, and I feel like since then I have been pretty dysfunctional in relationships now. I just get so attached and clingy. And dependent. I was very much in love with my last boyfriend, Jesse. I got really dependent on him and attached. When we wen through a kind of rough breakup, my whole world felt like it was falling apart at the seams. It's been a few months now. I still feel like I'm completely and utterly heartbroken, and it all seems to silly to me, when I look at myself and my situation through another's eyes. It's a boy. A HIGH SCHOOL BOY. A 16-year-old boy.  Who is stubborn. I've let his actions control my happiness for the last 4 or 5 months. And I'm ready for it to stop! I just hate that that poem, was all about him. It is my best work, and he is the inspiration. He doesn't deserve that kind of credit with everything he's done to me, especially in the last 3 weeks. He's been so hurtful, and I don't think he even cares all that much. I am trying to be as optimistic about the situation as possible. It has been getting a little better. If I constantly put my mind back on track and think positively I feel much better. The poem wasn't intended to be about him exclusively. It just ended up that way. I started out just writing about the emotion. Then, there are subtle hints it is about him. He play trumpet, and I reference to something like, "master of the golden brass." Or something along those lines. But in the last stanza, it is blatantly obvious that it is about him. (Assuming you know him, and our situation.) I didn't mean for it to end up that way, but the words just flowed right out of me, and it was perfect. I left it the way it was. 

    So I've been going through a rough six months. Particularly the last 2, but it has been hard. It's all happening during my senior year, as well, which is challenging. I have been completely heartbroken, and at my lowest spot many times recently. But I've come to realize that what the best medicine is is friends, fun, music, and above all, SELF-LOVE. So a message to all you women, and maybe even men, out there who are insecure about who they are, or how they look. LOVE YOURSELF! You are perfect and beautiful just the way you are. If you keep telling yourself that, you will eventually believe it. And trust me, it's true. <3 I am trying to tell myself that all the time now, and it is going to heal me. "Words are our most inexhaustible source of ma

Welcome to my blog! My name is Angela Anne Frale. 

     I am watching Titanic right now. It makes me wonder if relationships like that are realistic. It also makes me wonder how long their relationship would go if they both survived lol. 
     I have been thinking alot lately about all the pressures I feel in my life. The pressure to succeed in school and life from my parents and myself. Pressure from society to be skinny and a certain way in order to be deemed "beautiful." Pressure from boys to be interesting and desirable. Pressure from percussion to be on top of things. Pressure from my friends to be funny and likable. PRESSUREPRESSUREPRESSURE. I think that the one about society is a shame. Women should embrace themselves for all that they are and love it! Their curves and all. I think I am a bit overweight, but I am trying to embrace the way I look. Love myself for how beautiful I am. I don't need a guy to tell me that. And I don't need other people to create my opinion about myself.
    I know this is short, but I am getting sleepy. Shout out to my best friends: Kyle, Trevor, Sarah Orr, and Shelby. <3 Love you guys.